I am so thrilled to announce that Naturepedic is very generously giving away one free Naturepadic mattress at each of the four SuperBaby events next week! Naturepedic is considered to be the gold standard in organic mattresses. My kids sleep on these mattresses themselves and I recommend them in SuperBaby:12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years.

They believe, as do I, that a natural and organic baby crib mattress is the first step toward a healthy crib environment for your baby. Other mattresses are commonly made with petroleum-based synthetics, polyurethane foam, vinyl (PVC), phthalates, chemical fire retardants, and an extensive list of added industrial chemicals that have been linked to health risks. Naturepdic avoids those toxic chemicals. For more info checkout their site at www.Naturepedic.com.

 Join me at the signings and get one raffle ticket for each book purchased. Raffles will be drawn at the end of the night and winners will be notified (don’t forget to write your phone number on the back of your tickets!).

 Monday, September 13th at 7 PM at The Pump Station Westlake 2879 Agoura Rd. Westlake Village, CA 91361

Tuesday, September 14^th at 6:30 PM for West LA Parents of Multiples Private home (members only)

 Wednesday, September 15th at 7 PM at The Little Seed 219 N. Larchmont Blvd. LA 90004

Thursday, September 16th at 7 PM at The Pump Station Santa Monica 2415 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

To RSVP to the events email SuperBaby@SterlingPublishing.com and indicate which signings you will attend or just stop by!

Monday, September 13th at 7 PM at The Pump Station Westlake 2879 Agoura Rd. Westlake Village, CA 91361

Wednesday, September 15th at 7 PM at The Little Seed 219 N. Larchmont Blvd. LA 90004

Thursday, September 16th at 7 PM at The Pump Station Santa Monica 2415 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

You don’t have to be a celebrity to get an amazing swag bag! On September 13^th, 15^th and 16^th I will be giving away incredible gift bags at the Los Angeles book signing for my new book SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years. The first 50 people to buy two or more books at each of the signings will get a gift bag. These bags are filled with my favorite products, most of which I recommend in SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years. Each gift bag is valued at approximately $200 and has merch from the following companies:

Signing Time! ● Hanna Andersson ● Baby Legs ● Seventh Generation ● Uncle Goose ● Putumayo ● Parents Magazine ● EcoSystems ● Zoli Baby ● Born Free ● Naturepedic ● Burt’s Bees ● Cleanwell ● SuperGoop ● Retail Therapy ● Gdiapers ● Eat Cleaner ● Farm Fresh to You ● Earth Mama, Angel Baby ● Happy Baby Foods ● BabyGroup ● Homemade Harvey ● Herban Essentials ● Nature’s Paradise ● Baggu Bags ● EIO Cups ● Sensible Foods ● The Pump Station ● Healthy Child Healthy World ● The Environmental Working Group ● PETA ● and many more…

For the most up to date info on the events, the book, the swag bags and upcoming event raffles follow me on Twitter and Facebook. To preorder books and qualify for the swag bag go to Rare Bird and make an advance purchase. Keep in mind, you still must show up to the event to collect your bag.

To RSVP to the events email SuperBaby@SterlingPublishing.com and indicate which signings you will attending.

In my first book, The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy Confident Kids, I talked about how this new mentality of not keeping scores at kids’ games and giving awards to everyone who participates is actually harming our children. It prevents them from realistically assessing themselves, creates a sense of entitlement (“I showed up! Where’s my trophy?”) and prevents children from learning how to tolerate life’s disappointments.

I felt a little differently this weekend when my twin daughters, who are three years old, performed in their first ice skating competition. They have been skating for fun since they were two and recently when they were asked if they wanted to perform in the upcoming competition, gave an enthusiastic, “yes.” I suspect that knowing they would get to pick the music and the hope of getting an ice skating dress made it seem like a cool idea.

Watching each of my beautiful daughters perform in front of a crowd of people brought tears to my eyes. As a former elite level athlete (in rhythmic gymnastics), I know how much courage it takes to perform in front of a crowd and I couldn’t help but think that anyone who does it deserves a medal! That said, it was a tense moment for me when I realized that my daughters, who made up the entire age division, would  place first and second. Fortunately, they are not yet at an age where they know the difference between the red ribbon and the blue ribbon and there was no awards ceremony.

I do still believe that it is important that children have the experience of learning about themselves in a competitive environment. Both the experience of winning and, even more so, losing are incredibly valuable. That said, I think my girls can wait a couple more years before gaining an in depth knowledge about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

In the United States an estimated 11 million people suffer from eating disorders, 10 million of whom are women and 1 million are men. If the rates of subclinial eating disorders (eating disorders that do not meet the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual requirements to be officially diagnosed) were to be counted those numbers would go up exponentially. The National Eating Disorders Association estimates that 20 % of those still experiencing symptoms after 20 years will die. This means that eating disorders have the highest death rate of any mental illness in Western society.

Culturally, there is enormous pressure to be thin. Studies of Playboy  models and Miss America contestant winners over a thirty year period showed a steady decrease in body weight over time. These “ideal” models of the female body have stabilized at 13-16% below expected weight. Which is particularly shocking since it takes 22% body fat to ovulate and menstruate. The criteria for anorexia nervosa as defined by the DSM-IV includes body weight 15% below expected and amenorrhea (the absence of at least three consecutive menstrual periods). It is a sad statement on society that that the “ideal” female body meets half the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder.      

As the cultural ideal grows thinner and thinner, those who hope to achieve it work harder and harder to deprive their bodies. In a society where dieting is a $50 billion a year industry, women can’t help but feel the pressure to be thin. Sadly, even though the dieting recidivism rate has been reported to be as high as 99.5% dieting has become a rite of passage, a normal way to become part of the adult female world. It is that restrictive eating that is often the first step for an eating disorder to blossom.

During pregnancy women have nine months to adjust to the idea of a baby. We put the baby’s needs before our own from the start. We take our prenatals even if we don’t usually take vitamins. We suffer through morning sickness that sometimes lasts all day. We forsake our favorite foods and drinks—sushi, Cesar salad, certain cheeses, wine, and raw chocolate chip cookie dough. We feel life moving inside of us. But for men it is more abstract. They see changes in us and our bodies but it is harder for them to connect to the baby growing inside of us until they meet. Usually men focus on the financial concerns and express their anxiety there. Most men are a little shell shocked when baby arrives. They are used to feeling competent and being in control. Nobody is in control of baby. Frequently, men don’t fully connect with their child until some time between the first “social smile” and the first word.

Do your best to include him. Teach him how to do the baby related tasks so that he feels confident. If he doesn’t do it exactly the same way you do it, let it go unless he is doing something dangerous. Help him build on his growing strengths as a father.

We have all heard that television viewing can make kids more aggressive and even violent. But physical violence is not the only type of aggression that is effected by television viewing and violent shows are not the only shows parents need to be concerned about. In a study of media exposure and preschooler age children, researchers Drs. Jamie Ostrov and Douglas Gentile found that the more educational media children viewed, the more relationally aggressive they were. Relational aggression is when a relationship is used to inflict harm such as malicious secrets, lies, gossip, intentionally shunning, ignoring or ostracizing a peer. This type of aggression was found to be especially significant among girls. It is believed that young children, even preschoolers, have a difficult time understanding plots and, as a result, miss the overall message. Instead they learn from each of the behaviors demonstrated in the show, including relationally aggressive behavior. Even so-called “prosocial shows” designed for children show a high level of relational aggression. Most shows spend the majority of the program establishing conflict between characters and only a few minutes resolving it, leaving young children more likely to remember the mean behavior as opposed to the moral message. In an analysis of children’s programming by Dr. Cynthia Scheibe it was found that 66.6 percent of “prosocial shows” contained insults which is not dramatically better than the average children’s show which was found to have insults 96 percent of the time.

There is a movement in this country towards more conscious eating; eating that requires thought about how food choices effect the environment, how animals are treated and, of course, how foods affect our bodies. It has been estimated that 7.3 millions adults follow a vegetarian diet and of those 1 million are vegan (do not eat any animals or products that come from animal sources such as milk or eggs). Experts are reporting more and more children are choosing to go vegetarian  and more parents are opting to raise their kids without meat.

 Best sellers like Skinny Bitch , Eating Animals, and Food Rules have caused people to become more conscious about their food intake on a deeper level. According to a poll done by Vegetarian Times,  

• 46 percent of people report that they chose to become vegetarians to become healthier
• 15 percent made the switch for animal welfare
• 12 percent due to the influence of family or friends
• 5 percent because of ethics
• 9 percent did so for other reasons

Gone are the days when parents had to worry about their vegetarian kids having poor nutrition. Today’s markets, specialty stores (Whole Foods, Trader Joes, etc.) and online stores are filled with nutritious vegetarian options. It just takes a little more time, research and reading to make sure your child is getting a balanced diet, but it is worth it. There are many reasons for you to considering going vegetarian.

1) Avoiding disease and increasing lifespan.

I don’t know about you, but I want to dance at my grandchild’s wedding and I hope that my children will live well into the triple digits. In fact, research shows that vegetarians and vegans have far fewer incidents of heart disease, cancer, hypertension, diabetes, gallstones, kidney disease, obesity, and colon disease. Research at Loma Linda University has found that vegetarian men live, on average, about seven years longer than their meat eating counterparts. European studies have shown that vegans may live an additional 15 years over the animal-eating population. The China Study, which is considered to be the most comprehensive study of nutrition ever conducted, quite simply found that people who ate the most animal-based foods had the most chronic diseases and those who ate the most plant-based foods were the healthiest and had the fewest chronic diseases.

2) Inhumane treatment of animals

When I was ten years old I saw a documentary of the slaughterhouses and never ate meat again. Once you are aware of or, even more powerfully, witness the slaughter of animals, it is difficult to eat meat ever again. It is also difficult to explain to your child why she should not pull your dog’s tail but it is okay to put animals in some of the cruelest of imaginable conditions, as are done on factory farms which account for 99 percent of all animals eaten in this country, and then slaughter them mercilessly. According to one worker at IBP, the world’s largest meat packing company, “Workers can open the legs, the stomach, the neck, cut off feet while the cow is still breathing… I would estimate that one out of ten cows is still alive when it’s bled and skinned.” Others, John Robbins author of The Food Revolution, estimate that number to be closer to 90 percent.

We work very hard to disconnect from the truth of what we eat. We call cows “beef,” and  pigs “pork while we protect our children from the truth that we don’t want to face ourselves. When a friend’s insightful three year old son asked if the chicken he was eating was like the chicken he had seen on a farm, she was at a loss for words. As hard as it is, children deserve accurate and age appropriate information. Some may argue with me that telling a child that the chicken he is eating was once just like the one he saw walking on the farm is not age appropriate, but I disagree. Young children don’t need to know the details of the slaughter but they deserve to know where their food really comes from.

3) Environmental impact

Meat production is harmful to the planet and our children need us to keep it in good condition for their future. Research has shown that animal agriculture is the single largest source of methane, which is a greenhouse gas that is twenty-one times more powerful than carbon dioxide.

Factory farming also creates a huge amount of toxic sludge. According to the WorldWatch Institute, animals raised for food produce nearly 89,000 pounds of excrement per second which is 130 times the waste of the entire human population of the United States. Disposing of all this animal waste is problematic for the planet. While there are very strict laws about the disposal of human waste, equivalent laws do not exist for animal waste. Because of agricultural waste emptying from rivers and tributaries in to the Gulf of Mexico there is a “Dead Zone,” where there is no oxygen in the water and it cannot sustain any life. In 2008, this “Dead Zone” was reportedly 8,000 square miles.

Factory farming also uses incredible amounts of water, which is one of the earth’s most important resources. According to the Water Education Foundation it takes 2,464 gallons of water to produce one pound of beef. By comparison, it only takes 23 gallons to produce one pound of lettuce. Based on these numbers Robbins estimates you can save more water by not eating one pound of beef than if you skipped your daily shower for six months.

4) Avoiding toxins.

A recent study in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives revealed that people who frequently eat poultry and beef have higher levels of PBDE’s (Polybrominated diphenylethers), a common flame retardant, in their blood. How did flame retardants get in your food? These chemicals are everywhere: in children’s pajamas, mattresses, computers, TVs, furniture, upholstery, rugs, draperies, home electronics, and car interiors. They leak into the environment through the air, are carried by dust and water and enter the food chain. These hormone disrupters have been linked to impaired memory, abnormalities of coordination, hyperactivity, and infertility. The study found that vegetarians had PBDE concentrations that were 25 percent lower than omnivores.

Because fish are known to be a great source of brain-boosting omega-3 acids, parents tend to be especially pleased when their children are willing to eat it. But it is important to note that mercury-contaminated fish are the main source of human exposure to this toxic heavy metal. While freshwater fish and large, long-living fish generally accumulate the highest levels, a government test of fish pulled from nearly 300 streams in the USA found every one of them was contaminated with some level of mercury. Mercury is a neurotoxin especially dangerous to neurological development in infants, children and fetuses. The study found that 27% of the fish had mercury levels high enough to exceed what the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) considers safe for those who eat fish twice a week,.

5) Contaminated food

If you think that thoroughly cooking your child’s burger is an assurance that he will not get a food borne illness, think again. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, food borne illnesses such as E. coli and salmonella still sicken an estimated 76 million Americans each year; 325,000 get hospitalized; and 5000 die. Many are children. Since her two year old son died from eating a tainted hamburger, Barbara Kowalcyk has devoted her life to advocate for safer food. But in many ways she is fighting an uphill battle. Since 1998 the USDA has been able to shut down a meat plant for the repeated presence of salmonella and E. coli microbes, but the federal agency has lost that power due to lawsuits from the meat and poultry industries.

While there have been cases of E.coli being found in fruits and vegetable contaminated by water containing cattle waste but it is most commonly found in ground beef. According to Public Citizen, a non-profit consumer organization, slaughter house workers kill and gut as many as 350 animals per hour and are under tremendous pressure to work faster, causing errors such as puncturing intestines, bladders and bowels during cutting which releases waste matter that ultimately gets ground up into burgers. As Eric Schlosser reports in his powerful documentary Food Inc., mass-produced ground beef hamburgers are composed of pieces of thousands of different cows. If one of those pieces of meat is contaminated with fecal matter, the whole lot is contaminated. According to Gail Eisnitz author of Slaughterhouse  it is not a question of “if” there is fecal matter in your family’s meat but “how much.”

Make That Change!

Whether you go ovo-lacto vegetarian (no animals), lacto vegetarian (no animals, eggs or dairy) or vegan, you stand a good chance of making a difference in the health of your family and the planet. The animals will want to thank you too. According to PETA by switching to a vegetarian diet you will save more than 100 animals each year.

Food has a lot of emotional meaning for most people and making changes, even when you want to, can be challenging. It can be helpful to get educated about vegetarianism and nutrition and also to share books with your child that reinforce the new family plan.

Recommended books for adults:

The Food Revolution: How Your Diet Can Help Save Your Life and Our World by John Robbins

The China Study: Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss and Long-Term Health by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell

Vegan Lunch Box: 130 Amazing, Animal-Free Lunches Kids and Grown-Ups Will Love by Jennifer McCann

Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer

Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating by Erik Marcus

Recommended books for kids:

This is Why We Don’t Eat Animals: A Book About Vegans, Vegetarians, and All Living Things by Ruby Roth

Herb, The Vegetarian Dragon by Jules Bass and Debbie Harter

Each Living Thing by Joanne Ryder and Ashley Wolff

Hey Little Ant by Phillip Hoose, Hannah Hoose, and Debbie Tilley

‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving by Dav Pilkey

* A condensed version of this article appeared in Los Angeles Family Magazine March 2010

This year I asked my husband and kids for a chicken… a live one for Mother’s Day. I don’t need another piece of jewelry or flowers that will die. I need to know that I am making a difference in the world and that I am modeling good values to my kids. So often parents try to get their children to be charitable around their birthdays (“Let’s give those extra gifts to children in need!” or “Let’s tell all your friends to make a donation instead of giving you a gift!”) but we conveniently forget to lead by example. So this year I decided to practice what I preach and asked to have a chicken sponsored on my behalf at Farm Sanctuary. We are a vegetarian family and talk to our kids about the suffering of animals quite frequently. I want them to see me model charitable behavior and for them to learn first hand what I think is really important to me.

Today I was on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell talking about Wayne Treacy, the 15 year old boy who was arrested for beating 15 year old Josie Ratley to near death. Both teens attend Deerfield Beach Middle School, the same school where former classmate Matthew Bent and four of his friends were charged with attempted murder for dousing a classmate with alcohol and setting him on fire.

According to The National School Safety and Security Services the number of nationwide school related violent deaths have decreased from 33 in 1999-2000 to 13 in 2008-2009. But experts are reporting that when crimes are committed by kids they are increasingly violent.

It appears that we have the perfect storm of events. We have increasingly stressful home environments with a bad economy, children bombarded with violent images on television and in video games, a lack of face to face relationship with children increasingly relying on text messaging and email to communicate with friends and family, poor development of empathy skills among children combined with the impulsive underdeveloped teen brain. No wonder things are getting dangerous.

It is crucial that schools work to identify troubled students early and provide counseling. In the case of Wayne Treacy he has a father who has reportedly been arrested 43 times, a brother who committed suicide on his birthday, and the same day that he beat Josie Ratley unconscious, his girlfriend broke up with him. In retrospect it is clear that this kid was a time bomb waiting to go off.

In light of the revelation about Jesse James allegedly cheating on Sandra Bullock, I have been getting asked a lot of questions about cheating. Why do men cheat? Why would a man cheat on a beautiful movie star like Sandra Bullock? If people like Sandra Bullock, Uma Thurman, and Halle Berry can’t “keep their man” what hope do the rest of us have?

The statistics on men and cheating vary tremendously according to an American Sexual Behavior study, 22 percent of married men cheat. Yet infidelity researcher and author of The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It Gary Neuman found in his research that 1 in 2.7 men cheat.

Historically we have been lead to believe that men cheat primarily because they seek variety in their sexual partners. But Neuman’s work debunks that myth. Ninety-two percent of men in his study said the affair was not primarily about the sex. “The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures,” says Neuman.

Further supporting the idea that affairs are not really about sex is Neuman’s other finding that 88 percent of the men surveyed said the other women were no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives which supports the idea that you don’t have to be a supermodel to “keep your man.”